i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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