I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
