While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
