So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
