You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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