he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
These tits shall not be calmed
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