I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
