so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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