She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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