and you said cock pushups were impossible
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
