im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
