My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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