what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
