so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
