So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
