Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
