Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
