I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
