I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
