You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
