omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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