the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
