Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
