two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
