just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
