Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
