My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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