I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
