She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
