Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
