I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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