Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
