new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
