I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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