She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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