This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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