in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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