What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
