we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
