You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
