I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
