He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
so much tequila, so little girl.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
