Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
