ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
