You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
