I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
