Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
