stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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