Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
