yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
