So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
